Friday, November 13, 2009

Something is wrong with this powerpoint

A little while ago I was asked to look into something for work, and this something proved to be so stupidly complicated that I decided the only way to relay this information to my superiors would be via PowerPoint. I would not be making a presentation, you see, just a quick slide show with the information presented in a simple, step-by-step format, that they could browse at their own leisure (pronounced LEH-jurrr, with a mint julep in hand).

Anyway, sometimes my head goes to weird places and at some point during the construction of this PowerPoint that place was Tim Curry. So to amuse myself and to keep my interest, I started inserting pictures of Tim Curry into my slide show. Then, Tim Curry became the host of my slide show. Eventually I had slides like this:

So then I says to myself, I says, "Well, those slides kept MY interest. Why not just leave them in?" And so the presentation hosted by Tim Curry made its way to all of my superiors.

My boss' response: "Now I know what happens when I leave you alone with a box of coffee all day."

Which would be true, except I hadn't actually had any coffee. Because If I HAD, my presentation would be more like this:

Really, it's just my brain, which is dominated by major television networks and film studios (I was a latchkey kid!). Go on, remember Tim Curry as The Butler? You loved that movie. Put it into your presentation. Do it. DO IT NOW OR YOUR MOM WILL NEVER COME HOME FROM WORK.

Difficult day

Today has been a difficult day. For a wide variety of reasons. After I had finished randomly throwing up for no apparent reason, I put my head down on Leighann's desk to whimper about how much I hate my life. Leighann once again proved her sensitivity and caring by petting my head with a plastic fork and calling me a "retarded mermaid"