I swear we're grownups

Leighann threw a tampon at me in front of the new volunteer. Maybe this is why people consistently think we're freshman
Sidenote- our new volunteer IS a freshman, and she is super adorable and I want to feed her cookies and have her tell me about her guy problems.
A few more weeks here and I'm sure Leighann and I will have worn down her perky, adorable naivete

Kristen haz a sad

It is a day of woe and misfortune here at work. A day in which no co-workers would bone. Or, at the very least, the boning would be of a slow and mournful nature, rather than the usual celebratory boning.

Kristen had her car towed last night, and is subsequently a sad, penniless shadow of the woman she was yesterday. And so, although I can offer her no alms, I can create a work of art that is so masterful that its ownership will increase the owner's worth tenfold. Without further ado, I present to Kristen my magnum opus:

Kristen Frolicking in Meadow with Unicorn and Puppy

Leighann is a liar

She told me it was the 200th anniversary of Edgar Allan Poe's death. I thought we would have heard more about it if that was true, especially since the house he lived in and wrote The Bells (the Fordham bells!) in is right around the corner pretty much (not that anyone ever actually goes to see it but it's there!) and it also just didn't sound right, so I checked and it is in fact only the 160th anniversary of his death.
Way to lie Leighann
Anyway, go read some Poe
(Also, she needed the calculator to figure out the time between 1849 and 2009. Now I will make fun of her all day)

Zebra Gum Makes the Day Go Faster

I recently had to abandon Kristen for two and a half days in order to travel to a neighboring state and tear apart a family that is not my own. To make up my absence to Kristen, and also to gently coax her out from under her desk, I returned with much-sought-after Zebra Gum. You may remember this as the gum that tasted like Zebra. A Zebra that runs out of flavor after about 7-10 chews.

This particular pack of Zebra gum came with tattoos! Kristen, being a veteran tattoo-haver, had to help me apply mine (I lost the use of my fingers in a freak accident involving a dropped penny and a smoothie-maker). Lookin' fine, Surf-Fun Zebra!

We work in the Bronx

And this is an example of the kind of thing we see on our lunchbreak. Yes, that is a dog. Carrying another dog. In a briefcase. Wearing sunglasses. Yes, we made best friends with his owner. Leighann is submitting this to cuteoverload.com If it does not make it, I do not know what those people are thinking.

This is what happens when we have actual work to do in the office. I think I had done my job with minimal procrastination for almost a week when this tantrum got thrown! Personal best. Thankfully Leighann was there to encourage and record my breakdown.
Except then she went on vacation for a "wedding" or some such bullshit. So I had to spend a few days hiding under my desk all alone. *tear

The Room

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCj8sPCWfUw

So this weekend, Leighann discovered the cinematic masterpiece that is The Room, by Tommy Wiseau. By far the best part of this movie, in my opinion, are the sex scenes, which are in fact the same scene replayed at different points in the movie, and during which the direct/star of the film seems to be fucking the female lead in the navel.
Essentialy every line of this movie is hilarious. We have spent the morning thus far turning to each other periodically and saying "well, the results came in, I definately have breat cancer" and "darling, you can't support yourself", and occasionally screaming "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA" and then throwing something on the ground.
Next we shall organize an outing to the monthly showing and throw spoons at the screen.
Our boss is out sick today, so we are sitting around with our shoes off, and my pants will probably follow shortly. They will be put back on only for an extended lunchtime excursion to the new Applebees.